plz talk dirty to me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
