Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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