It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
