jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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