nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it was like his penis was on wheels.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
