Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What a dumb baby whore.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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