Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
