I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
