belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She needs sedatives and a leash
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
