just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
