I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
