Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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