Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
