never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
