Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude i'm inner monologue high
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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