He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
