he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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