i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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