You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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