non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
