where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
