i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
