I can't watch pbs sober anymore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
