Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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