She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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