dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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