we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
