His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
