What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
