Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
