i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
