: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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