Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
