Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
