Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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