in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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