you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
