Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think my vagina is haunted
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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