if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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