matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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