Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
