Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
