You just made me feel so damn special
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
A+ Viking dick
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
