If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
