Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
