I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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