the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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