Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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