He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
