did you get engaged???
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
